


An Armistice with the Past

by cap_and_cyborg



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Bucky and Tony being bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 16:40:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6122824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cap_and_cyborg/pseuds/cap_and_cyborg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky is tired of the constant reminder of his past on his arm and Tony has a way of helping him move on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Armistice with the Past

It was one of those days when Bucky couldn’t settle, felt restless in is one skin, like he was going to shake apart.  The worse part was that he didn’t know what had made him like that.  He had a date with Steve, watched a movie with Clint, Sam, and Natasha, and then all of a sudden he was alone and quaking out of his body.

 

He looked around for literally anything to do, and saw his and Steve’s bathroom.  Cleaning would take his mind off this, cleaning wasn’t picking at his skin and tapping his fingers and feet, would help him regain his calm.

 

Bucky took out the supplies and went to town on the bathroom.  It had never shined as much as it did when he was done with it, and probably never would again.

 

But he still was restless.

 

Hot and sweaty, he took off his shirt to take a shower and saw the red star on his arm.  In a sudden fit of rage, he grabbed the stainless steel sponge he had used on the shower and started to scrub the paint off the metal.  Slowly the star chipped off, scratching the metal under and around it.  Bucky didn’t care, he wanted it gone, he wanted to be free, he wanted out of his head, he wanted to get away from all the screaming that echoed there.  The loudest was always his own.

 

“Hey, Sarge, I’ve been told that you’re the best one to come to for- Whoa, what are you doing?!” Bucky heard Tony exclaim as he got close enough to see Bucky’s arm.

 

Bucky reeled away from Tony, falling into the tub and then stared up at him, breathing hard.

 

Tony stopped at the doorway, hands up in a placating gesture.  “Hey, Tin Man, I’ve been here, okay?  You gotta breathe.  Breathing is good.  Helps calm down your body.  In and out, come on.”

 

Slowly, Bucky got his body under control.  He still was shaking, rubbing at his arm weakly, but he could breathe.

 

“Alright, let’s get you fixed up,” Tony said, stepping forwards and holding out his right hand.  After a moment, Bucky took it and barely noticed when Tony took the metal sponge out of his hand and put it on the counter.

 

Leading him to the elevator, Tony didn’t say anything.  Silence continued as he hit the button for his lab and on the ride down to it.

 

Once the doors opened with a ding, Tony finally spoke.  “I’ve almost died more times than is strictly normal for people.  I was kidnapped a few years ago by a particularly opportunistic group of terrorists.  That’s why I had to put this in my chest in the first place.”  He tapped on the glowing light in his chest.  “I was lucky enough get out.  Not everyone was.”

 

“You never really get out though, do ya?” Bucky said numbly, sitting down on one of the stools hanging around the large room.

 

“No…” Tony responded softly.  “I guess you don’t.”

 

Tony hopped up one of his mostly clear work spaces and together they sat with their demons.

 

“Take it off,” Bucky said so suddenly that Tony jumped.

 

“What?” Tony said, not understanding.

 

Bucky gestured to his metal arm, to the mangled red star on the shoulder.  “You heard me.  Take. It. Off.  I don’t want it anymore.  I don’t need the constant reminder that they owned me for years.  I don’t want to think about how I’m the exact opposite of Steve, with his white star on his chest.  I want this arm to be  _ mine _ , as much as it can be.  So take it off.  Please.”

 

Tony nodded, a spark appearing in his eye.  “I even have an idea of what to put there instead.”

 

It took a shorter period of time to free Bucky from that red star.  In less than an hour, Tony had taken off the paint, buffed the arm to get rid of the scratches Bucky had inflicted earlier, and engraved a new symbol permanently into the metal of the shoulder.  Tony had insisted on detaching the arm while he worked, so that the sensors in it wouldn’t cause Bucky pain.  Bucky didn’t mind either way, though it was awkward for him to sit there, in Tony’s lab, without an arm while Tony worked.

 

Steve’s eyes had filled with tears when Bucky came to lunch and showed off his new arm, that was his alone, with the wing insignia that had been on his Howling Commandos uniform.

 

“How’s it feel?” Steve asked, rubbing his thumb against the mark, making the sensors connected to Bucky’s mind tingle.

  
Bucky smiled.  Nodding to Tony in thanks, as that’s all that either of them could handle for showing and receiving gratitude, he replied, “It feels like mine.”


End file.
